That's How I Roll

Since when is everyone so comfortable sharing their unsolicited opinions? I’m not talking about general rudeness here, like when someone says,” I liked your hair better without bangs,” or “I didn’t think people with your skin tone could wear pastels.” No, I am talking about when people boldly question your judgment, decisions, or choices, as if you owe them an explanation. Not everything is a democracy or open for debate. If I didn’t ask for your advice, then don’t give it to me.

My small sense of outrage is coming to you live from the front seat of my brand new car, since my only free time these days is spent sitting in line waiting for the last bell to ring at school. And yes, I did say new car. New new, not new used. Brand spanking new. Newborn new. When I saw it for the first time today at the dealership and noticed what looked like a scratch in the paint on the passenger side, I made them take it back and buff that fucker off. Because it is so new, it can’t come pre-scratched. If my car is going to get a scratch, let it happen in the Target parking lot, not before it even leaves the dealer.

You know how you talk to your peeps and they ask you what’s new? Well, I told some of them I was going to buy a new car. And the first response, almost always, was why? Was there something wrong with my old car? How old was it, anyway? Four years? That’s not old. How many miles did it have? Sixty-four thousand? That’s not even high mileage. Did I need a new car? Jesus, it’s not like I was adopting an orphan crack baby or a new kitten. Why the new kitten? Was there something wrong with the old one? Did it die? No, I just wanted a new kitten.

Even my daughter’s friend felt comfortable in engaging me about the reasons for my new purchase. She just moved here from France, so she has a unique perspective, combining a child’s natural curiosity with a mild distrust of American consumption. I found myself trying to justify my choices to a nine year old, one who in fact doesn’t understand the idea of a family having two cars, let alone buying one when the old one still works.

This is the one and only time I am offering up an explanation. Buying a new car is not such a rash, impulsive thing. Nothing was wrong with my old car, unless you heard me braking, in which case nothing was wrong with it that couldn’t be fixed. It was four years old. It was no longer under warranty. It was in need of new tires soon. It was on the brink of no longer getting a good trade-in amount.

I bought my new car through Costco’s auto buying program, proving that yes, you really can get everything you want or need at Costco. Employee pricing. All manufacturer’s rebates. Owner loyalty discount. And a $500 Costco gift card. That’s a whole lot of pita chips and paper towels.

The car that I bought also comes with five years of free maintenance. It was, in essence, a sweetheart of a deal. I would have been a fool to not consider it seriously. My husband and I hemmed and hawed for a good month. He researched blue book values. He cleaned the interior. We compared interest rates. When we looked at the numbers, we realized we could get this new car for less than what we paid for the old car four years ago. If we didn't get it, I could still drive my car for a few more years, and repair things as they broke. But this deal had a time limit, and the time was almost up. All the pieces fit right in place, and it just made sense.

So I gave you the detailed rationale of why I got a new car. Here’s the short answer. I wanted a new car. I wanted one, and I could afford one. So, I bought one. Not only that, I replaced my old car with the same exact car. I liked my car just fine. I don’t have any adjusting to do. I didn’t even have to test drive it. And maybe this time, I might actually read the manual to figure out the cock-a-mamie cruise control. I didn’t have to do any getting used how the new car drives. I knew exactly how it drives; it drives like my car, only without goldfish crumbs under the floor mats and little dings all over the steering wheel.

I remember when it was normal, even expected, that people would buy a new car every four years. Some people chose to lease a vehicle, which meant they had new wheels every two or three years. But times got tough, and as people bought cars they couldn’t really afford, that four year financing stretched to five and six year loans. And the next thing you know, I am the only person buying a new car, and practically everyone else is giving me crap about it. I am just stimulating the economy. I am just exercising my consumer confidence. I am just being patriotic. And while I’m doing all that, I am also enjoying the new car smell.