Redirected Road Rage

An open letter to the people in front of and behind me on the drive home last night from my meeting:

Dear Sir/Madam:

Welcome to the road. You are sharing it with other people, so there are some basic rules of etiquette you need to remember.

To the person in front of me, your car has automatic transmission, which means you may use the same foot for the gas and the brake pedals. This is not 1953, and your Buick does not have a clutch. So please, do us all a favor and take your foot off the brake. I understand that the road is dark, and foxes and raccoons can appear out of nowhere, but destroying your brake pads isn’t the way to anticipate them. I was mesmerized by your three glowing red brake lights, and kept wondering when I was supposed to know the difference between you being overly cautious and when you actually planned to stop. Were you unsure of where you were going? Were you looking for a side road? If so, I would recommend, in the future, the purchase and usage of a GPS system. I did find out, however, that it was neither. You therefore must not know where to put your left foot. I know where to put mine; let me tell you. There is a little foot rest on the left hand side of your floor board. Put your foot there. Free up your brake pedal for more important things, like braking.

To the person behind me, I understand it was a dark road. After all, it was after nine o’clock in December. One can expect the night time sky to be a little dark under such conditions. And yes, this particular road does not have street lights. So I can see why you might have been tempted to use your bright lights the entire trip down the road. After all, foxes and raccoons can appear out of nowhere, but blinding the person in front of you, in this case, me, is not the way to go. I hate to be the one to tell you, but you are not the only one on the road. Even though you are visually impaired, I can see you just fine. Too fine, in fact. I felt like I was reliving a scene from “Mississippi Burning” or “Silkwood.” I didn’t know if you were going to run me off the road or pull me over and shoot me in the head. Lucky for me, it was neither. Your bright lights are most likely operated by a stem on one side of your steering wheel. If you are unsure where, take a moment to review your user manual before you leave your driveway. That way, you won't make the mistake of driving for miles blinding both the oncoming traffic and those unfortunate souls going in your direction.

The next time you are tooling down the road, take a minute to look at your dashboard. Is there a blue light indicating your high beams are on? Look down a second, and check the position of your left foot. Is it hovering over the brake pedal? If the answer is yes, then let someone else drive. You need some additional training in the operation of your motor vehicle. You are not road ready. And if the rest of us can’t see because we are being blinded from behind, or tell what the hell is going on while you ride your brakes, then how are we going to be able to tell when the foxes and raccoons appear out of nowhere?

Sincerely,

Everyone else on the road