Rest in Peace, Andrew

Today is the memorial service and funeral for Andrew E., an 18 year old child who took his own life this past weekend. He and his family have been members of my temple for years, way longer than I have. I didn't know Andrew, but I taught Sunday School to his youngest brother a few years ago. Our temple is a small community though, and while I don't feel like my place is with the family, I am still affected.

When I told some of my other friends about the news, since I was so shocked and saddened by it, they too felt the sorrow of a loss of a boy they also had never met, at the loss of life so young, at his own hand. They expressed concern for the family, the aftermath of such a senseless act, dismay at a child not getting help, or not able to be helped. And as I am torn with my own feelings, I am amazed at how one boy who had no idea of his impact on the world could affect so many people who never knew him, merely by one event that none of us can fathom.

The service is today, and right now hundreds of people, parents, family, friends, both local and from far away, are preparing to go and show their love for Andrew, their support for his parents and brothers and each other. They are putting on dress shoes, straightening ties, tucking tissues into pockets, dreading the whole event knowing how difficult and sorrowful it will be, perhaps not remembering that a memorial is not for mourning the loss of a life but for honoring the life that was lived. For some in attendance, this is their first memorial service, the first person they knew who died. I wish I could tell them it never gets easier. It will stay with them for the rest of their lives, the same way that I can remember the first funeral I attended, also for a high school friend.

There will be discussions of suicide in many homes for days to come, and then we will have the holidays to keep us occupied, and time will march on, as time is wont to do. Andrew's parents and brothers and friends will go through the motions, and it will either get easier or it won't. What I wish for them is what I wish for Andrew, that they can find peace.