With Good Reason

I just woke up from a nap, at eleven in the morning. Yes, I am aware I was sleeping in the day, and with good reason too. I was tired. From being up most of the night, trying to decide which end to stick in the toilet. I did a great job predicting, thank you very much. It's a toss up, really, stem versus stern, pie hole versus corn hole, food poisoning versus tummy bug. We all ate the same thing last night, and so far, no calls from the school, so I am thinking whatever the cause, I am the winner, the lucky one in my family.

After taking the kids to school, I did the unthinkable, I crawled back into bed. I imagine there is a slew of moms who do this on a regular basis, along with the ones who fill their water bottles with vodka or stick their hands in every open box of snack food in their pantries. I am usually the mom who goes immediately to the gym for my daily dose of light sweating and meaningless chat with other underemployed grown ups, but not today. Today I confused the cats by getting back in bed, by being home when they do whatever it is that they do while I am not at home. I read, I drank water, I slept. I got up and ate some matzoh, the bread of affliction, which has a reputation of counteracting any intestinal issues better than rice and bananas. And let me happily report, so far, so good.

Even though I had good reason to get back in bed, I can't get over the feeling that I am playing hooky, that somehow I am guilty of doing something dishonest, of not being a productive member of society. Lying between my sheets during daylight hours means I will get caught, forced to march down the hallway to the Principal's office in a public display of humiliation, the grade school version of a walk of shame. I could only doze half heartedly, as I kept expecting my mother to bust through my bedroom door and start yelling at me for doing nothing. You would think that taking a day to heal one's body would not come with an extra helping of guilt, but for me, it does. Truth is, putting one's contacts in does not constitute a good day. Perhaps tomorrow I can save the world, but for now, I must get back to staring at the cats until it is time to get in the carpool line.