Good Fortune

I wanted to write about what happened this weekend, because now I find it funny. It certainly wasn't funny at the time, and due to reasons which would be obvious to all of you if you knew what I was talking about, I am not at liberty to discuss the event. So instead, I thought I would treat you to some of the fortune cookie fortunes I found in my purse when I cleaned it out yesterday afternoon, while my kids watched "Ratatouille." I did in fact prefer cleaning out my purse to watching that dull movie again. And I am sharing the benefits with you, the reader. I shall post them in no particular order, mostly because I am not anal retentive enough to sort them. Just deal with it.

(Only the prepared speaker deserves to be confident.)

Amen to that. Not so much funny, but definitely true.

(Your life will be happy and peaceful.)

I don't know if cookies should bring you this level of peace. After some wicked good chicken with garlic sauce, this one did the trick.

(You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.)

I'm still working on this one. I don't think it involves a pole or interpersonal skills.

(A huge fortune at home is not as good as money in use.)

This one seems more timely now with the economic crisis than when I actually ate the cookie.

(God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another.)

This either applies to my two faces or my multiple personalities. Or perhaps my proclivity to refer to myself in the royal "We."

(An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly!)

I don't know if this referred to a UFO or the guy filling my water glass.

(You will live a long life and eat many fortune cookies.)

Or else.